Now and again, the urge to have sex is a spark that slowly builds into a fire and sometimes it feels as though a lightning bolt has just electrified couples’ genitals. In the latter instance, what spouses do not want is sex that progresses, one careful step at a time. What they are craving for is something far wilder and out of control. There is no room for gentle kisses and lingering caresses as the drive to fumble and thrust takes over.
In this type of passionate rush, shirts are left half-unbuttoned, trousers drop around the ankle, and bra straps are left dangling in the wind. This is not to say that hurried and urgent sex is not emotional or romantic, because it certainly can be, but it is just a different kind of romance. As long as both spouses are in the same sex-mood, it can provide as deep a scene of connection as a foreplay style sex. Couples that have issues with foreplay can actually go for a fast sex that makes for fantastic furious sex from the beginning to the end. Speaking of endings, a fast start does not necessarily have to lead to a fast finish. Stopping and starting, slowing down here and there for a moment or two of manual or oral stimulation, can all prolong the ecstasy and add to the overall excitement.
Whenever a husband or wife wants sex sooner rather than later, it helps to communicate that fact to his or her spouse in a way that will get him or her as fired up as you are. Both men and women love to feel lusted after, and many get an erotic jolt from hearing their spouse confess that they are sweet and sexy as ever.
To get things started, whisper in your spouse’s ear that he or she is incredibly hot, and you want desperately to see his nakedness again and that his or her nakedness triggers your libido. For emphasis, you can slot in any of the educative erotic films and stylishly call him or her over to your side and take off from there. The better you understand your spouse the more likely you are to hit the right notes. Those words combined with some well executed touching and some tantalising visual signals, should quickly create a hot and heavy atmosphere. Watching how your spouse responds to your advances will give you a clue as to whether they are good to go, or need some time to get there. If they pull away or stop your hands, you know they need to be seduced more slowly.
Husbands, do not beat around the bush if you want to get your wife’s attention; just stick your hands into the inner part of her tights and whisper ‘I will always love you’ into her ears. Wife, do you know a five-finger grip on your husband’s ‘package’ will get the job done? Fast sex does not have to be aggressive; it can be fun and light-hearted. Going for your spouse playfully but blandly can be effective as a more serious attitude. Husband, you can lift your wife off the floor as if you are carrying a bag of cement; wives love this. To many wives, the last time they were ‘lifted off their feet’ was on their wedding day. Your wife is long overdue for another ‘lifting’.
Seductively undressing your spouse can be enough to set him or her off; making direct eye contact as you do so will let him or her know that you are ready for real sex. If you begin touching yourselves, as you are stripping off your clothes, you can expect a sexual waylay within seconds. Having sex with your clothes on can feel much erotic than doing it very naked. It gives the whole encounter a more spontaneous and more vibe. Nipples peeking out from a bra [make sure it is not a smelly bra] begging to be kissed and touched. A tight that flashes into sight before disappearing again under a skirt seems even more desirable for being partly hidden.
Certain clothes are associated with certain activities. Having sex with your husband in a suit shortly from the office can be thrilling, because it suggests that you are bringing newness into the game. Not bothering to bear your entire body adds to the overall charge of fast sex. One of the best parts of leaving a wife’s bra on is the way it pushes her breasts up and together. Husband can pull the cups below the nipples to make them stand to attention for action. I tell wives even if your breasts are sagged, when they are well packaged, they will still ‘deliver.’ All you need to do is make sure the nipple of the breast is directly placed at the joining of the cup.
To some husbands, the mere sight of sexy pants creates a tantalising sexual challenge, so leaving on sexy pants on and pulling them aside to slide the penis in increases erotic passionate sex. In addition, suddenly coming on to your spouse in an unusual place will instantly spike up fire and flame. Therefore, couples should make the most of their surroundings. Spouses can caress each other in the passage, corridor or gentle nudge your spouse back onto the reading table in the bedroom or the living room.
Couples must bear in mind that against the wall sex could be more challenging but at the same time, it is very erotic than it looks. At first, it requires the husband to lift his wife full weight [hands under her tight, very close to the buttocks is the best grip], but once in position, the wall acts as a partial support. It usually lasts for only a few breathless thrusts before it becomes too much effort unless your wife is very petite, or you the husband are very strong. Nonetheless, every movement is well worth the momentary strain. Having sex standing up is easiest in a narrow corridor or passage, because once a wife is lifted into a good position, she can press her feet against the opposite wall to help support her weight. The husband can also press his body against his wife’s own to help her against the wall, and then place his hands under her buttocks to help balance her weight. Moreover, while the husband is thrusting in and out, massage the buttocks simultaneously as you thrust in; it is a wonderful experience.
This can lead to a high-octane-fifth-gear-position- sex that can certainly take place in the bedroom, but to maintain a real sense of spontaneity and urgency, it is much more effective to finish right where you start as long as you both are sure of adequate privacy.
Having sex standing up with the husband entering from behind and the wife bend over a solid piece of furniture, is an ideal position for sex. Although this position allows deep penetration, [especially for many husbands with small penis] it does not provide clitoral contact. The husband can use his hands to simulate his wife’s clitoris in an upward direction. Wife in position like this, your bottom needs to be quite close to the edge of the furniture to allow for full penetration. In addition, the husband should help support his wife’s weight and aid her to balance by holding onto her thighs as you thrust in and out. Alternatively, you can rely on a study table to help support your wife’s weight during this position.
Lie on your side and raise one leg, keeping your other leg straight on the bed. Your husband straddles your thigh and hugs your raised leg as you rest your calf on his shoulder. Once he enters you, have him wind and whirl his hips as he thrusts for maximum pleasure.
All that circling ensures that your husband’s every thrust hits a new pleasure zone inside you, keeping you on the edge of ecstasy and 100 per cent satisfied. In addition, he will love the fact that he is in control and being able to take in the robust landscape of all your sexiest spots. Since he is enjoying being the power behind this position, let him do the work while you lie back, relax, and get your moan going.
Since he is on his knees, ask him to alternate between a high kneeling position and a low crouch to add sensations that are even more surprising. The lower he goes, the deeper he gets and the higher the test of different levels to discover what feels best for you all.
Alternatively, your husband can lie on top of you, entering you in traditional missionary style, but then —he starts doing a 360-degree rotation, all the while keeping his penis deep inside of you. As he is rotating and thrusting, help guide him around your body like a propeller would spin around the top of a helicopter. Make sure to lift his legs when they swing around over your head.
Once you make the 360-degree jaw-dropping journey, you and your husband will feel like sexual young lovers and may even keep on spinning for round two, three, and four! Another plus of this funny position is that as your husband is doing an around-your-world revolution, you finally get to view every inch of his body and barely have to move to reap big rewards — your propeller prince is doing all the work! If during his twisty travels, you encounter some awkward private part match-up moments and it feels like he might just slip out, try placing a pillow under your butt to raise your pelvis a bit for easier access.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
My wife is jealous of my workmate
My wife and I have been married for seven years, and she is a stay-at-home mom to our two children. Lately she has become jealous of my close relationship with a female co-worker. Even though I have assured her there is nothing more to our relationship than work, she is worried about my being around an attractive woman in the workplace. How do I handle my wife’s fears?
Mr. Jabir from Sierra Leone
The bottom line is you have a lifelong priority commitment to your wife. For some reason, she feels that she is being threatened. So find some uninterrupted time with her and tell her you want to hear more about what she is feeling. Do not defend yourself or explain anything; just listen. Try to understand what your relationship with this co-worker looks like in her eyes. Has she heard you say things she finds disturbing? Is she feeling negative about her own appearance? Does she feel this woman is getting a better slice of your time and attention than she is? While you may not entirely agree with what she is saying, you need to understand it.
It is not strange for stay-at-home moms to struggle with their husband’s relationships in the adult world, especially if those relationships include women. It is also easy, during this busy season of child rearing in marriage, for couples to drift apart. Ask your wife what she would like you to do that would help her feel less threatened? You will need to look at what is necessary for your job and what is not as far as interactions with this woman and other women goes. This will require some serious soul-searching on your part, for it is easy to convince yourself your relationship is not a big deal, that it is strictly about work and be deceiving yourself.
Then renew your commitment to your wife through your words and deeds. It is vital you take the time to figure out what you can do to make her feel loved and esteemed. No matter how invalid or illogical you may think her jealousy is, guard your marriage. If your wife sees your commitment to her demonstrated better and her feelings given credibility, her jealousy will subside and your marriage will be strengthened. Remember there is no price greater than your dream marriage; do not destroy your marriage with your own hands.
He thinks divorce is a family curse
My boyfriend and I have finished our degree, practising the career we both love, and doing well at it. The problem is, whenever we start talking about marriage, he becomes scared because everyone in his family is divorced. He has two brothers all with small penises and he thinks that was the reason for their divorce, what can I do to reassure him that I am different from all other women?
Miss Emily from Ghana
Your boyfriend’s fear is understandable; what he has seen and lived with has affected him. Nonetheless, he does not need to be afraid, why don’t you and your boyfriend talk with a counsellor about the impact those divorces have on him? There may be more to such divorces than just the penis size. The more clearly he understands those things, the more alert you both would be to any early warning signs. The recently discovered Chinese herb for men with small penis should be one of the items you will take along during your honeymoon.
He cannot perform
“My husband does a stressful job and, he is having a problem with impotency. I wonder if that is having an effect on him. My husband is discouraged and I am also disturbed as well. I miss the intimacy of sex and my husband is disappointed in himself just because he cannot perform.
Mrs Ladinos from Mushin
Sex is a vitally important area in marriage, so it is worth facing this situation head-on. Your husband needs not to feel embarrassed or frustrated at all. Reasons have been that help is within arm’s reach. Sometimes, his condition may just be pre-mature ejaculation or weak erection or erectile dysfunction; that is his challenge and not outright impotency. In addition, do not assume stress is causing your husband’s impotency; physical disorders such as diabetes mellitus, hypertension, or a hormonal imbalance are possibilities that need to be ruled out.
Various medications such as some antidepressants, antihypertensive, or diuretics, as well as excessive cigarette and alcohol consumption, also can cause impotence. In majority of men, however, impotence is triggered by psychological factors—stress, fatigue, state of hopelessness. If that is the case, your husband will have to find healthy ways to reduce or cope with his stress. In the meantime, do not allow impotency to eliminate your physical connection; remember the great Cialis called 36-hours-of-freedom is still doing wonders, get one with NAFDAC approval.
My husband turns me down
My husband and I have a two-year-old son, and for months, my husband has had no interest in sex. I am always the initiator, and he turns me down with excuses about being tired or having financial worries. I wonder what it would be like to be married to someone who made me feel wanted and beautiful. What do you suggest?
Mrs. Grace Williams
There are many reasons a husband might lose interest in sex. Fatigue and financial worries are legitimate causes for many men. However, you also seem to connect his disinterest with the birth of your baby. Pregnancy and delivery of a baby cause more than just abdominal stretch marks and post-partum depression for the mother. New dads get their own set of psychological stretch marks that can make sex less appealing
A father often reacts to the invasion of his space by a competitor. Suddenly he does not have you all to himself. Here is this other little male getting time at your breast. The baby puts new time constraints on both of you. Your focus of attention and affection may have shifted toward your son. In addition, your husband knows that, as a father, he is not supposed to feel jealous of his own baby. However, subtle resentment can develop. Another factor can be a husband’s unconscious compartmentalisation of “mothers” versus “sexual playmates.” As a mother, you have moved onto a somewhat sacred, revered pedestal outside the category of women who are sexually stimulating. You may have encouraged this attitude if you wanted a break from sexual play after childbirth, or the way you make yourself unattractive. Remember how you felt about the changes in your body during pregnancy? Your husband may have had some strong reactions, too. Men can be particular about earthy stuff like labour and delivery, episiotomies and lactation. The idea of getting you pregnant again may have cooled him on intercourse.
Talking these things through is best, but if he refuses, there are other things you can do. First, try to decrease his life pressures and financial demands, since these are the excuses he gives. Second, try to find out if he has emotional needs that have been left unmet since the baby came. Third, work toward regaining your figure and your playful availability. Fourth, make babysitting arrangements, kidnap him to some romantic spot and seduce him. Finally, let him know he is still your sexual hero, king and captive. However, if you are wondering what it would be like to be married to someone “who made you feel wanted and beautiful,” you could be vulnerable to an affair. Please, please be careful! Do not make the mistake of thinking you can listen to someone say how beautiful you are and not be lured into trouble.