So, Sunday was Mother's Day. I know there's more than one each year. And I'm not complaining, oh. Because good mums are everything.
They are the only ones who can love you when your behind is acting like “someone is doing you from village” and you dumped your home training at your neighbour's doorstep. Or in the middle of a lagoon in the spirit world.
It was all over social media. My news feed hasn't seen such activity since someone got expelled from the same Big Brother programme that Nigerians whined they would not watch because it was shot in South Africa. But back to the point, I need to ask some questions:
1. Is your momma on social media?
Will she see your words of adulation? Has she heard those words from you? Or have you made her case like that of women like Ronke Shonde; going to incredible lengths to create a false picture on social media?
In case you don't know (or have forgotten), Ronke Shonde was a woman who seemed more focused on displaying lovey-dovey pictures on social media, than she was in her own (and her children's) safety. Her husband, with whom she took those pictures (with which to create a false picture of a great marriage) killed her, locked her body in a room with her two young children, and is now awaiting trial in prison.
2. Whose mother is problematic?
If everyone's mother is an angel from another dimension, just doing time in this lifetime to earn their wings – who are those ones abandoned by their feckless children because a pastor/prophetess/whatever told them, “Your mother is the witch behind your problems”? Who are the ones exhibiting early stages of dementia or Alzheimers, compelled to confess to all sorts in the despicable death traps that Nigerians refer to as churches? Whose mothers are those? The shocking thing is that many of your pastors who encourage you to abandon your mother or maltreat your mother-in-law, treat their own mothers like reincarnated queens.
They buy cars and houses, dedicate Foundations and schools, throw bashes and give all-expense-paid round-the-world trips to their mothers. But you are sitting there, calling them your spiritual parents while the one that gave you life is accused of all sorts.
People you should spit on and throw stones at, are the ones you revere 'because (s)he is my (wo)man of gaaaad who revealed to me that my mother eats my destiny whenever she gives me ogbono soup'. Tufiakwa, if only your destiny was worth eating! Olodo. One of the best things about being irreligious for me, is that no blaaaady eejit can come to my house to tell me that my mother or my mother-in-law is a witch. NOBODY!
3. Where are the fathers?
See eh, if a child has two parents (of different genders) but only knows mama, something has happened that should not have happened, oh! Chances are that papa messed up.
Shout out to all the blokes who leave their wife (or mother of their children – derogatorily called 'baby mamas') to raise the child(ren), only to have the temerity to insist on 'father of the day rights' when there is a celebration – especially a wedding.
Instead of hiding in a waste paper basket or Sulo, you glory in your shame. This generation gonna show you nwii. And the only thing you will do is whine all over the damn place that “My ex-wife turned my children against me.”
Chioma Nnani is the award-winning author of FOREVER THERE FOR YOU and BECAUSE HOME IS. One of Africa's most fearless storytellers, she was a 2016 CREATIVE AFRICAN Awards finalist in the category of “Best Fiction Writer”, and a DIVAS OF COLOUR 2016 finalist.
Chioma has also been nominated twice for a UK BEFFTA (Black Entertainment Film Fashion Television and Arts) Award in the “Best Author” category, was named “One of 100 Most Influential Creatives” in the world by London-based C.Hub Magazine, lives in Abuja, where she runs THE FEARLESS STORYTELLER HOUSE EMPORIUM LTD, can be reached on @ChiomaNnani and blogs at www.fearlessstoryteller.com for which she has won the 2016 Blog of the Year BEFFTA.
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