Many people worry that they will lose an important—or even their only—support system when they tell their intimate partners that they are HIV-positive. It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous, embarrassed, or even fearful of your partner’s reaction. But failing to disclose your status and going ahead to have s*x with them is viewed as a deliberate wicked act. So if they learnt that their partners deliberately infected them with HIV, Saturday Punch asked some Nigerians what they would do.
I will send her out of my life - Wale Adewale
If my wife infects me with the disease, I can’t kill her. All I have to do is to make sure that she vanishes out of my life, because her next step may be to take my life even before the disease does. I can’t do more than that because I can’t kill chicken not to talk of a human being. No matter the situation, I’m not going to kill her as it’s not going to make a difference. Sending her out of my life is enough punishment for her.
Our marriage is going to lack trust going forward - Oba Mariam
Jesus! I’d have to probably divorce him or stay with him after seeing a counsellor and talking things through. But then, our marriage is going to lack trust going forward. In fact, let’s be realistic, if we had children before he infected me for the sake of my kids, it’s going to be a ‘happy HIV family. But if we don’t have, I’ll leave him to face my life squarely.
I will accept it as my cross to bear - Prince Olawale
I will accept it as my fate and stand by her side because of my love for her. I won’t send her out of my house or life because it is not the best solution to the matter on ground. What has happened has happened and I will accept it as my cross to bear.
I’d leave him before he stabs me in my sleep - Olaniyan Modupelola
I am going to leave him as soon as possible because he can decide to stab me in my sleep. For him to infect me knowingly with a terminal disease, then he does not love me at all. For the sake of our kids, I can decide to still connect with him. But for me staying in the same house with him, that will never happen again. The love and trust is gone forever because of his selfish reason for infecting me in the first place.
I’d leave her - Jimmy Newtron
I’d leave her and live with it as there’s absolutely nothing I can do. I have the right to sue her though; that’s another option and she pays for damages. Suing her will be double burden for me because I’d be spending too much money. Of course I know I would surely win as it’s a crime for her to knowingly infect me. If it was a mistake, I would walk out of the marriage. But I’m 100 per cent sure that she won’t do that to me.
I’d be stuck with him - Kanmodi Nana
Since we are both infected with it and I got it through him, I won’t pack out of the house because packing out of the house won’t cure the disease. I will be with him to take care of ourselves together, as we all know that in our society, those with HIV are mostly treated differently. Come to think of it, there are so many ways of contracting such disease, not necessarily through the act of infidelity. He may have been infected through other means. I will surely consider this so far I know the kind of man I got married to and hear his own side of the story. We are all human, it’s normal to feel hurt but it’s important to hear his side of the story so as not to feel guilty later.
I can forgive her because of the kids - Victor Kalejaiye
That would be bad if she can do a thing as wicked as that to me. I will cry out my heart knowing the implications of living with HIV, but honestly I don’t really think our marriage will continue. The only thing I can do is to put my life together and live it the positive way. I can because of the kids forgive her, but the love and trust won’t be strong as it was before she infected me.
Nobody will marry me if I leave him - Oki Josephine
We will live and die together of course. If I decide to leave him alone and start a new life, who will marry me knowing the fact that I have a terminal disease? Nobody will want a second hand wife not to talk of a woman with an ailment as strong as HIV. I will just accept it as my destiny and forever be with him till God do us apart. If I decide to kill him or sue him, his death will not change anything, it won’t cure the disease.
She’d have a big explanation to make - Silas Eloko
I’d leave her to God to judge and go on with making my life better. I would enrol for treatment as well too. If I decide to beat her, it won’t change anything. In fact, I would be getting myself into a bigger trouble for beating up a woman; it’s a crime. And nobody wants to know your excuse for beating up a woman in any part of the world. She might be scared of leaving me and that’s why she infected me in the first place. I’m sure she would have a big explanation for her decision because if she claims to love me, she will not infect me with a terminal disease.
I have nowhere to go - Sirah Diakite
I will still be with him, I have nowhere to go to because we are already married. But, it will be very painful because I didn’t see it coming. He should be able to open up to me than infecting me. It’s more like he has killed me already. Packing out of his house will not solve anything because I have the stigma already but God forbid it happens, I will be seriously heartbroken.
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