One of the jokes that went round in the social media last week could pass off as humour at the expense of the womenfolk. It says “Gentlemen, if you have N5,000 in the house and your wife has N55,000, the total amount of money in that house is N5,000. Are we together?” Of course, the men are together on this.
They believe the women will never disclose the actual amount of money they have to their husbands. But can we say women are also together on this issue? Interestingly, many women are in agreement with the men. The wife believes the husband is the head of the family and it is his responsibility to provide everything that will be needed in the house.
After all when she married him, she dropped her maiden name and adopted his name while all their children bear his name, he should therefore be ready to shoulder all the burden. There may be few exceptions but most housewives don’t like their husbands to know how much money they have.
Although, it is believed that about 50 per cent of all the spouses hide money from each other, women indeed, are accused of being the greatest culprits in this regard. In fact, one in every five Nigerian women is said to be guilty of keeping many secrets when it comes to the issue of money.
While this has become a major factor undermining the progress of the home front, many have argued that some women today have their reasons for resenting wholesome financial contributions to family.
The question then is, what would make a wife conceal so much from her husband especially when it comes to financial contributions to family affairs? Take this: A woman has, for example, N100,000 and all the husband has is N50,000 and sorts out a N40,000 family responsibility. Then another responsibility of N10,000 arises.
The woman would keep her money in tact and would want the husband to also fund the N10,000 responsibility and go empty handed. These things happen in our homes all the time. Why are women this way? Is it an act of wickedness, selfishness or greediness?
According to those who spoke to Saturday Vanguard on the matter, some women feel reluctant to ask their husbands for money for all the things they want for themselves. They, therefore keep their money and use it for their own needs. To these, it is simply the man’s place to provide for the family. They hardly part with their money for any family matter that does not concern them. Other women also, are said to resent their husbands’ assumed right to decide how much they should be spending on anything.
The reasons range from behavioral attitudes to social factors and even fears of the unknown.
“Hiding money helps a woman get around some problems like supporting her parents and siblings financially,” according to Chuks Nwanne, a journalist. But for Femi Salawu, Media Communication Practitioner, a woman who hides her money from her husband shows that she has trust issues.
“Although I don’t have evidence for it but I consider it to be common place that majority of women who hide their money from their husbands do so in retaliation to similar behaviour from their husbands, not necessarily because they are bad. Having said that, I don’t think it is a good attitude in a home.
Trust is the foundation of peaceful home and how couples handle money will reveal their faith in each other.
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