Dear Aunty Temilolu,
One fateful day, when everyone had gone to work, my uncle (my mum’s younger brother), came to the bathroom where I was taking my bath, flung himself at me and raped me. I fainted out of shock and was revived. Some weeks later, I discovered I was pregnant and was forced to terminate the pregnancy.
To worsen my plight, till date, my parents and entire family refuse to believe my uncle raped me as he denied it. I’ve been treated with so much disdain because according to them, I want to disorganise the family while my uncle goes scot-free. My mother in particular has made life so unbearable for me, I feel so worthless, hopeless and useless. I took solace in my friend who encouraged me to join their group of prostitutes. I graduated from secondary school at age 14. I was a brilliant child.
However, today, I am a s*x worker to make ends meet after being neglected by my parents. I am traumatised and depressed and I need to see you before I do something silly to myself. Where may I find you please?
Here's Temi's reponse to Queen's letter;
My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,
Please pardon me for skipping the topic I began discussing last week. Queen’s story made me so angry such that I wish I could hold a world press conference right away on our satanically and unapologetically patriarchal society and get the world to save the future of Nigerian girls who will be responsible for future Nigeria! Abi, are they not the ones to bring an entire generation into the world if their wombs remain intact? I hear all sorts of stories every day of the evils that men do especially to the girl-child. It’s so disturbing that it’s giving me grey hair already.
Why should anyone go through what Queen is dealing with? What baffles me is how her mother of all people would malign her because of her younger brother. You could say her brother has been her benefactor however, that is not a reason for her to defend him in a situation like this. If care is not taken, Queen’s life is just going to spiral down into complete darkness. Already, she has become a sex worker whose body is a merchandise for these same men. She may never ever get her bearing right. A child who left high school in flying colours at age 14 is one who certainly loves to study and make the most of her brain. What happens to this intellectual gusto?
Now, I imagine Queen’s daily activity, I imagine how her great dreams for a beautiful future are being snuffed out daily. I imagine how she doesn’t want to know what anyone could think about her trade. I imagine how lost she is in the wilderness of life; I imagine how she cries morning, day and night. I even imagine how she wants to peel off her body when she showers after sleeping with these men-all because her family refused to treat her with love or even care for her needs. Yes, we can all wonder why she has to join the sex work; after all there should be another way out.
I tell you, you will be shocked at the number of young ladies around you, who are sleeping with one man or the other to make ends meet. They don’t have to stand on the road at night. But why should things keep getting worse for the younger female folk? They are the ones who are sexually abused right from childhood even before they reach puberty. Before long, they begin to fall in love and when not prepared for that stage, have their hearts fatally broken over and over and over again.
They get to the university and some beastly men their father’s age make life hellish for them and I tell you most of these girls succumb out of fear and because no one is speaking out for them! It continues in their work place then they end up in marriage with a devil re-incarnate who will batter them and treat them the way animals shouldn’t be treated, like they were picked from a dustbin and their mother would be the first to tell them “God hates divorce,” and “what will people say if you leave him?” I am bible compliant- in fact it is our manual at Girls Club but I am yet to find any scripture which encourages defiling and debasing womanhood! What a pity? What a pitiful pity? I have seen women whose destinies were ripped apart by men-their husbands. Now, when your mother hasn’t got your back, who would?
Girls…girls…girls, the world is extremely hostile. You need to concentrate on the right things and your future and brace yourself up for the challenges of life. God has created you beautiful and given you certain privileges, innate skills and spiritual gifts to live a most enjoyable life. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DEPRIVE YOU OF THIS! GOD LOVES YOU, SO DO I!
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