He said to me . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! 

He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! 

He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him ... . They don't have time 

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. . We don't know; it has never happened. 

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends. 

I said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said. .. . A widow. 

He said to me . .. .. Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. 

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!